Columbus Crew Announces “Massive” Rebranding Initiative

At a press conference this morning, Columbus Crew Imperial Wizard of Public Relations, Heinrich Heydrich unveiled a new logo that he says will “better align the team with its core fan base.”

When asked if he felt the new logo might alienate minorities, Heydrich responded “well, we tried throwing bananas at them, we tried yelling at them, if this doesn’t send the message I frankly don’t know what will.”

Edit: I’ve been informed by some readers that they have taken offense with this post. Although it was intended to be satire I can see where they are coming from and would like to apologize. I sincerely did not mean to offend any Klansmen by linking them to the Columbus Crew fan base.

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